


Torn

by Spera_via



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: I tried being ambiguous but we're all smart here, Sith, What side to choose, choices to make
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 18:46:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spera_via/pseuds/Spera_via
Summary: Folly has been feeling torn lately and needs a place to think.





	Torn

Folly shifted in front of the yawning mouth. Brilliant crystals jutted out from the rock inside like sharp, luminous, teeth. It gave him the impression of a sarlacc pit. Prettier, but dangerous all the same.

The planet had been calling to him for a while like an ache that couldn’t be soothed away. Each passing confrontation he had with the Darths and Lords alike seemed to act as tiny picks, chipping away at something and revealing a piece of him he would rather stay buried deep below.

His confrontation with Nekor, his old rival and newly appointed Darth, the resulting shame of standing in the arena surrounded by various members of the Odacai. It was the first time he had felt like a fool before them all. Well, the first time the shame of feeling like a fool had hit him. The cracks had widened into a fissure that couldn’t hold back the flood he had been trying to suppress. He tried sitting through the meeting, but coupled with his concussion and his own internal war, he left. 

That was the first time he had gone to Ilum. Nearly killed himself, granted, but out there in the cold, Folly felt wall he had built crumble away and the deep understanding settle in. 

When he returned to Yavin he felt the irritation that normally gripped him worsen. Found himself spending every second wanting to be somewhere else. 

Darth Nekor knew something was going on. He had been keeping tabs on Folly. That much was true when he had called him out on going to Ilum. The conversation had been dropped when Folly brushed it aside, but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding uncomfortably. It had taken most of his willpower to stop from shifting uncomfortably, suspiciously. Nekor dropped it when Folly had turned the conversation back onto him. Hopefully that would be the end of it. 

When he ran into his peers off Yavin he found himself more guarded, if that were even possible. Bothered that they would want to get to know him personally. Wishing they would back off and stop prying. 

Then, the events of that night… his dead, ex-apprentice had been brought up. It seemed that everyone in the room, from his peers to his own ex-master, thought of him as a failure. A failure for trying to make a point. Folly knew better than to argue or to try to explain away his decisions. It was over, and it was his fault. The feelings of guilt and, infuriatingly again, shame had crashed into him like a down starship. He had been unprepared for that. He left, needed to get away, get off of Yavin. He needed space. He needed… peace. He needed… he needed...

Folly lifted a hand and covered his face as the wind blasted past him into the mouth of the cave. He had been here many times and usually found it empty. A good place to meditate. A good place to… hope to run into someone he could talk to. Someone who understood. A place to speak freely and let his words dissolve into the air as if he had never spoken them. 

Taking a deep breath, Folly dropped his arm and wandered inside.


End file.
